Serenity to accept...

STEP TWO: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

2011-09-19T10:09:00.000-07:00

While I have ventured out into deep water many times in my life,due to circumstances in my life over the past four years, I find myself morefearful than I've ever been. Fear to the point of isolating myself from theworld and people. Even though I truly believe that my Lord will never leave meand He is always with me, I've been cowering in fear.

I started my day off today... knowing that I have to make changes to kick startmy life again, I keep letting fear hold me back. What is there to be afraid of?The Lord is with me. I need to take a step of faith and move out of myself-protective comfort zone and trust that He will be with me every step ofthe way.

I tried to logon to the step meeting this morning, but the site wouldn't comeup. Maybe the Lord wanted meto completely focus on the topic for this step (once again!).

What do you think keeps us focused on the “winds and the waves” in our livesinstead of firmly focused on Jesus? For me, it is fear of the unknown. So manytimes I thought I was in God's will and praying fervently only to haveeverything crashing down on me. Maybe I don't trust myself. Maybe I'm nottrusting Him enough. This is hard for me to admit, because I spend so much timein His Word and in prayer and I want nothing more than to serve Him and livefor Him.

What can change this? What will you do to change this?
These are two really big questions for me right now. Perfect love casts outfear... Jesus is that perfect love. I need to fully rely on Him, no matter whatthe outcome of every situation is... no matter whether its painful or not... andknow with all my heart that He is in control... I am not.

I am moving forward... I am taking this step in faith that He will be with me. I amgoing to stop giving myself negative messages that hold me back and moveforward with my life... in Him... trusting in Him.

God is in control... I am not...

2011-09-14T12:18:00.001-07:00

... and since God is control, who am I to say anything about anything?

When I chose to live my life in darkness, it didn't matter how many people tried to share their knowledge of the Lord with me. God knew in advance when He would open my eyes to the Truth. He is in control. He hardens some eyes and hearts and He brings light to others... in His timing... not mine.

The "great commission" was given by Jesus... for His beloved to share... Everyone has sinned and needs God's grace and mercy to be saved. And the Lord God in power and mercy has made a way through His Son, Jesus Christ, who died on the cross as the blood sacrifice to atone for all the sins of mankind from the beginning of time to the end. When Jesus arose, He showed that He had power over sin and death (and evil). All those who believe in Him (change direction/repent and turn to Him) will not perish but have everlasting life. This is the "Good News"... it is the Gospel... it is what we are to share in our own human words... period.

It is not up to me or a brother/sister believer to take the scriptures any further into someone else's life. Jesus is the sower (Matthew 13:37-43)... Jesus prepares the soil... Jesus knows when the soil is fertile... who are we to force the Truth on anyone?

Romans 9:15-23 (NLT) ¹⁵For God said to Moses, “I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose.”
¹⁶So it is God who decides to show mercy. We can neither choose it nor work for it.
¹⁷For the Scriptures say that God told Pharaoh, “I have appointed you for the very purpose of displaying my power in you and to spread my fame throughout the earth.”
¹⁸So you see, God chooses to show mercy to some, and he chooses to harden the hearts of others so they refuse to listen.
¹⁹Well then, you might say, “Why does God blame people for not responding? Haven’t they simply done what he makes them do?”
²⁰No, don’t say that. Who are you, a mere human being, to argue with God? Should the thing that was created say to the one who created it, “Why have you made me like this?”
²¹When a potter makes jars out of clay, doesn’t he have a right to use the same lump of clay to make one jar for decoration and another to throw garbage into?
²²In the same way, even though God has the right to show his anger and his power, he is very patient with those on whom his anger falls, who were made for destruction.
²³He does this to make the riches of his glory shine even brighter on those to whom he shows mercy, who were prepared in advance for glory.
James 4:12 (NASB) ¹²There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?

Matthew 22:36-40 (NASB) ³⁶"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?"
³⁷And He said to him, " 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart , and with all your soul , and with all your mind .'
³⁸"This is the great and foremost commandment.
³⁹"The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself .'
⁴⁰"On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."

Father, once again, I come before You in humility, broken at what You reveal to me... I pray that You will grant my petition of repentance.... thank you for showing me the areas in my life were I fall short. Help me to be continually aware that my knowledge of You is Your gift to me and as You work in and through my life, I pray that You are glorified and that I might be emptied of myself to testify to your greatness. Please forgive the times in my life where I wasn't accepting of my neighbors (family, other believers, non-believers) and in my human mind based my perception on what I thought was truth. You reveal what we need, when we need it, in Your timing... not mine. You are sovereign, You are Holy, You are God, You are the giver and creator of all. Praise be to God!

Out of the Ashes...

2011-09-05T10:59:00.000-07:00

We are about to celebrate the anniversary of 9-11…probably everyone remembers exactly where they were on that fateful day. Iwas suppose to be in New York that day on business, but one of my businessassociates took the trip for me. Today, ten years later, in New York where thetwin towers once stood, the place dubbed “ground zero”, there now stands abeautiful memorial park with trees and flowing waterfalls. It took almost two years of back-breakingwork to clear the debris and destruction… ten years to see something beautifulrise from the ashes.

Its such an appropriate analogy, because we are nodifferent, it takes time, commitment, hard and sometimes painful work to dismantleand rebuild our broken, messed up lives. One of the keys for growth and lasting change in my life has been in surrender. Surrendering it all to Jesus. Living in His Truth and being transformed by Him, my personal relationship with Him, His body and the many godly resources he places in my path. And it's all been worth it, I praise Him for all of it.... ten years later to see something beautiful rising from the ashes.

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. Lam 3:22-23 (NLT)

I Once Was Lost....

2011-08-25T14:40:00.000-07:00

... but now I'm found... was blind, but now, I see... SO CLEARLY....

Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes and my heart to Your Truth!

Have you ever taken the time to look back over your life? Do you see any repetitive patterns? Were you conscious at the time that you were doing the same thing over again? The faces and the places may have changed... but the outcome was the same?

In recovery circles insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. The irony is that while there are indeed things we do repetitively, I think most often we're not consciously, intentionally or willfully continuing in an unhealthy pattern. So, is that really insanity? Truth is, the outcome of our unconscious behaviors may lead to craziness and our lives spinning out of control... but, we're not insane... we're damaged... broken in some way... unhealthy.

Behaviors are habits, they develop over time. They are the programing in our minds. There are some behaviors that are clearly evident, even to us... but to me, the hard ones are the ones that we aren't aware of. The ones that are instilled by our growing years, life experiences, hurtful people, tragedy, through pain and suffering. We may have reacted to any given situation the only way we could, but it either 1) triggered an unhealthy response from a past experience; 2) put a new (possibly unhealthy) behavior into motion. The good news is that we can change unhealthy repetitive cycles in our lives. We can learn to establish boundaries. We can learn new ways of responding to difficulties. Making changes in our lives may not be the easy thing... but it's so worth the effort. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of the pain that evidentably follows "doing the same thing over and over"!

For me, putting Jesus first in everything I do is essential... without Him, nothing works right!

More to follow

Do you want to Change?

Thank you Jesus... Your Love Never Fails, Jesus Culture

2011-08-24T16:22:00.000-07:00

Lifting up the Lord in praise!

No matter what... Jesus' love never fails...

August 2008

2011-08-24T15:27:00.000-07:00

My name is Lisa, I gave my life to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, in August 2001. My life at that point was like a battlefield littered with the mass destruction from decades of bad choices and decisions I had made. There was no way of escaping the carnage, no way to go back and do it over, and no way to get through another day. Death seemed like the only way I'd find peace. I mean after all, I was already living what I thought was hell. At that point my nights were filled with torment, sleep was impossible. My days an endless struggle to function in a high stress corporate job, taking care of a family with issues and the endless stream of demands that I couldn't meet.

One morning, in August of 2001, I received a call that my brother-in-law (my sister's husband), who had been struggling with health issues, was in critical condition in the Intensive Care Unit and it was questionable as to whether he was going to make it. He had attempted to take his own life by over-dosing on narcotics and had asperated. I had meetings scheduled that morning, so I had no choice but to go to work. I finished up at work and got to the hospital by late morning. There was a waiting room ouside the ICU. I called the nurse's station and was told that my sister was in with Jesse but they would let her know that I was in the waiting room. There, sitting in the waiting room was a man that over heard my call. He came up to me after I hung up the phone, reached out his hand, gently taking my hand in both of his, he introduced himself as my sister's pastor. His words were soft and gentle as he spoke giving me an overwhelming sense of peace. With thirty years in corporate administration, I had met a lot of people. Something was clearly different with this man. He didn't start spouting scripture. He did however say that Jesse was in Jesus' hands. We didn't get to spend a lot of time talking before my sister came out but it was enough time for me to know that I wanted and needed what this man had. (I later learned that Pastor Bruce had been with my sister since the ambulance came to their house the night before.)

So many times in my life people tried to convince me that Christianity was what I needed. Lord knows, my sister had been praying for me for years. I went home that day longing to be in that peace, wanting to know how to get what Pastor Bruce had. That's when I opened the Bible, something I had never done before. I didn't know what I was looking at and I didn't know where to start. For reasons unknown to me at that time, I went to the concordance. From there I found hundreds of topics that applied to my life, which led me to scriptures that spoke to my heart. I sat there for five hours that day. That was the beginning of my life being transformed by Jesus.

The next Sunday, I went to Pastor Bruce's church, Calvary Chapel of Livermore. From the minute I walked into that church, I was welcomed, loved and filled with a sense of peace that I can't even begin to describe. It didn't matter that my life was shattered into a million pieces, how much money I had, how I looked or what I could do... I was loved and accepted just the way I was, with all my flaws... Jesus loved me!

As the Word was spoken through Pastor Bruce, it spoke directly to my heart. This man didn't know me, yet he spoke to me in a very personal way. After the service, I thanked Pastor Bruce for his words and told him how I felt like he was speaking directly to me. He told me that it wasn't him, it was Jesus speaking to me and that He speaks to us through His word and through His body of believers. He told me that he was so happy that I came and how he hoped that I would come back. Come back?! I didn't want to leave!

Looking back in retrospect, I was and am blessed that the Lord brought me home through people filled with Him. The people weren't perfect and glowing with halos, it was Him flowing through and out of them. They were just like me, and now I was part of His family, part of His body.

I can't stand before you today and say that since I have had a close and personal relationship with the Living God that my life has been perfect. I still make mistakes. I still have tribulation and hardship. Most often, I don't know what to do in situations that I encounter. But I can tell you that I wouldn't be able to get through or exist through anything without my Lord, His Word, His Truth or His body. Jesus is my strength in difficulty. He is my advisor when I need wisdom. And He is my peace. Apart from Him, I have and am nothing. For a lot of years I lived on the "wide-road", walking in the dark and bumping into walls (it's surprising that I don't have permanent brain damage from some of those collisions!). I know first-hand how lonely, hopeless and difficult life without Christ is. Jesus said, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavey laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30) If you let Him, He will do it all. He will do things in your life that surpass what you can imagine. Not because of what you want to do, but because He loves you, knows you and has a plan for your life.